King Family Residence – Episode 1.08
“King Family Residence is filmed before a live studio audience..”
Episode 8 – “The Mob”
Martin: And that’s why the Communists are lying in wait. Ready to strike at a moment’s notice.
Bennie: (nods enthusiastically) I get that. I totally get that.
(Jafar glances up from his inventory. The three men are standing around the front counter of Jafar’s Bazaar..)
Jafar: I am sorry, my friend. Were you speaking?
Martin: (grumpy) I’m talkin’ ’bout Commies over here! I’m talkin’ about the downfall of society as we know it! Russkies!
Jafar: You do realize that Russia is no longer a Communist state and that China – the country of your origin – is now the world Communist power.
Martin: (stammers) Yeah? Well, you’re from Iran, so…suck on that!
King Family Residence – Episode 1.07
“King Family Residence is filmed before a live studio audience..”
Episode 7 – “The Cabal”
(Martin King is in his den, poring over ancient religious texts when his eyes light up and he leaps out of his seat, dramatically removing his lensless glasses..)
Martin: By George, I’ve got it!
(Being 2:30 AM, the rest of his family is asleep, so he bounds upstairs to rouse them..)
Martin: By George, I’ve got it! I said ‘By George, I’ve got it!’ Hello?
Kathie Lee: (stumbles out of bed) God, Dad. It’s the middle of the night.
Martin: But I’ve got it, by George!
King Family Residence – Episode 1.06
“King Family Residence is filmed before a live studio audience..”
Episode 6 – “The Opium Den”
(Martin is leaning on the checkout counter at Jafar’s Bazaar while Jafar does inventory..)
Martin: Hey Jafar, what’s the one thing all Chinese people love?
Jafar: Annoying me while I am working.
Martin: Oh, that is so racist.
Jafar: No, it is not.
Martin: No, the one thing all Chinese people love? Opium.
Jafar: I do not think that is fact.
King Family Residence – Episode 1.05
“King Family Residence is filmed before a live studio audience..”
Episode 5 – “The Orphan”
Martin: Honey, I want another kid.
Osaku: (bolts up out of bed) What.
Martin: I want another kid. You know, another little bundle of joy to bring light into our otherwise dull lives.
Osaku: (rolls over on her side and hits the snooze button) I don’t think so, dear.
Martin: Aw, c’mon. Why not?
Osaku: Because we already have two kids, you don’t have a job and we don’t have a source of steady income. Should I keep going, ’cause I feel like that’s enough.
Martin: How ’bout one more.
Osaku: I don’t wanna give birth again. Childbirth sucks. Not happening.
King Family Residence – Episode 1.04
“King Family Residence is filmed before a live studio audience..”
Episode 4 – “The Theater”
(Martin hits up Jafar’s Bazaar to tell his good friend about his latest foolproof scheme..)
Martin: We’re opening up a movie theatre!
Jafar: Not here. You cannot once again transform my place of business into the grounds for another of your wild ideas.
Martin: No, don’t be an idiot. We’re doin’ it in my garage.
Jafar: Oh.
King Family Residence – Episode 1.03
“King Family Residence is filmed before a live studio audience..”
Episode 3 – “The Guest”
(Martin King is pounding a sign into the front lawn. His wife, Osaku, joins him outside..)
Osaku: “Room for rent”? What’s this?
Martin: We need money, babe. I’m renting out the extra room.
Osaku: That’s my office, where I do my crafts. You’re not renting out my office!
Martin: Babe, we all have to make sacrifices.
King Family Residence – Episode 1.02
“King Family Residence is filmed before a live studio audience..”
Episode 2 – “The Cult”
(Martin King gets up and pours a cup of coffee while his wife Osaku leaves for work..)
Osaku: We’re gonna pound the pavement today, right Martin?
Martin: Yes, dear.
Osaku: You promised you’d have a new job by the end of the week.
Martin: Times is tough.
Osaku: I have faith in you, Martin. I know you’ll find something.
Martin: Thanks, dear. Have fun at the slaughterhouse. Bring home the bacon.
Osaku: I will, dear. You try to do the same.
Martin: What? No, I mean like actual bacon. Bring me bacon.
King Family Residence – Episode 1.01
“King Family Residence is filmed before a live studio audience..”
Episode 1 – “The Bonus”
(Rumford, ME — Martin King is hard at work in his cubicle at ACME Shareholdings Inc., when his boss hollers at him..)
Mr. Jackson: Martin! Get in my office!
Martin: (hustles in) Yes, sir?
Mr. Jackson: Martin, I’ve got great news!
Martin: What is it, sir?
Mr. Jackson: You’re getting a bonus!
Martin: (pumps fist) Alright!
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